Although she fell in a few times each event prompting the sort of chaos and panic from all three of us normally reserved for Bath and Body Works sales and bridge collapses, Harper did so well!
We decided she could handle a whole tour of the lake even though it involved going past the neighbors' docks which isn't normally a scary prospect unless you'd just driven by their signs that read:
"America: God, Guns and Guts! Let's keep all three!"
"Repent Sinners!"
"Make China Great Again" (with a picture of President Biden)
"Don't blame me! I voted for Trump!"
And sev-er-al "NO TRESPASSING" signs with pictures of AR 15s.
Were we trespassing!? I felt like that was up to their interpretation not mine, and even though I don't consider a man wearing a wet suit that conceals no secrets, a nervous lab mix in a life jacket and a woman unsuccessfully trying to find her rhythm with a kayak paddle dangerous, I couldn't shake what I know to be true.
There is no greater threat than an insecure White man with a gun looking for an excuse.
But no one shot us that day. Not even the incel with a woman mannequin fishing with him off his dock.
On our way back to paradise, I noticed Barack and...her named started with an A, so I will call her Margaret Cho...Barack and Margaret Cho's Trump/Pence flag had unfurled. I'd just missed it the first time.
That night, I chose to watch Jordan Peele's critically acclaimed thriller US, the greatest critically acclaimed thriller made since Jordan Peel's Get Out. It proved to be the stupidest decision I've ever made in my stupid life.
Note: I did NOT take photos of the neighbors' signs and properties because I want to live.
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