Green Gardens

I decided to have a quiet Saturday night in which is rare because I do that all the time. En serio. I am the most boring wayfarer ever. I think it's genetic because my sister and I like to compete at being losers. "Mom taught us to never get involved with anything," Ellie has said followed by us affirming and amening with our heads, hips and hands like we are in the pew next to Oprah and Gail. We both like but dread having late night weekend plans with other young adults because it's hard for us to put in the effort it takes although we know that we need to maintain an acceptable level of street credentials, or people will stop inviting us places.

That attitude doesn't translate well here where the serious people don't eat before 9, go out before 2 and come home until 6 or 7. What in the Sam Hill!? Who has the moxie for that malarkey!? I try my best to keep up, but I've never been keen on doing something I really don't want to do or faking enjoyment unless I'm getting paid. I realize that sounds like I'm a prostitute, but I'm keeping that bit in because I mean it.

Another important piece of this two piece puzzle is that I don't understand *spending money on booze (red wine doesn't count because it's the sweet blood of angels). I feel like waving my hand at the bartender or waiter and saying, "No, no. You see, I need this to stay fun and smiling and dancing and so I don't fall asleep in the corner now but fall asleep in the corner later. I can promise you that I don't want to drink it and will not enjoy it, and therefore, it should be free. Capisce?" They never, ever capisce me.

I can't lay on the sofa with my sister or mother during the prime of my life because they're too far away, so I have to do it with my computer. Last night, I got home after meeting a friend for tea just as the marrow of life suckers were waking up to go out. I took a shower, changed into my ankle length embroidered nightie that I kid you not used to belong to my grandmother and settled in to watch my **story. I was beyond happy until I realized our internet wasn't working. The. Internet. Was. Not. Working. I staved off the panic long enough to see what films I had actually saved to my computer to watch. I only had one...the 1975 documentary Grey Gardens.

I think I'll go out more this year.




Epilogue: I'm going to ask that you not point out that this post is an obvious contradiction to my last post.

*No you may not buy me a drink! I work just as hard as you do to support my own damn self, and in fact, I will buy your drink because I believe in sex equality and proving points to the point that they actually hurt me like when I spend way too much money on not only my stupid, calorie fat alcohol drink but yours as well.
**Orange is the New Black. I know! I can't talk about it, but I can talk about it all day. My favorites are Crazy Eyes and Lorna and everyone else. I have the song memorized.